The Trauma Bond Addiction Connection

Learn How to Heal From Trauma Bonding and Addiction at Icarus Behavioral Health New Mexico

The trauma bond addiction connection can be described as an unhealthy attachment between an abuser and the victim. These abusive relationships can be addictive in that the victim can not see a version of their lives where they are not with the abuser.

The trauma bond can hold a victim captive, making it incredibly hard to escape. Toxic relationships full of physical and emotional abuse take their toll on your mental health. These trauma-bond relationships are often associated with substance abuse and domestic violence.

All of these symptoms of a trauma bond relationship can be signs it is time to get help, and Icarus Behavioral Health in New Mexico is here to do just that. Keep reading to find more information about the trauma bond cycle and learn the risk factors. Find out how we at Icarus New Mexico can help you break free.

Common Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Abusive relationships happen all the time. If you think you are in one, look out for some of these common risk factors.

Constant Criticism and Insults

Your partner constantly insulting you and talking down to you is a major red flag you may be in a toxic relationship. Constantly being criticized and belittled can lead to a significant decline in your mental well-being.

Sometimes, this devolves into calling names or commenting on your appearance. Both of these are signs to look out for. If your partner seems to be always pointing out your flaws and is calling you ugly, fat, and other negative names, it may be time to consider whether the relationship is abusive.

Love Bombing is Abuse Through Intense Love

Love bombing is the presence of excessive communication at the beginning of a relationship. This includes telling someone you love them far too early in the relationship as a means of control. This is a strategy that can be used to passively obtain power and control over your life as a means of narcissistic gain.

Love bombing is something to keep a close eye out for because, often, a person can experience positive feelings when they first encounter it. However, over time, this behavior will dissolve, leaving them feeling as though they have disappointed or become less appealing to their toxic partner.

Gaslighting and Making You Doubt Reality

Gaslighting is another tactic abusers use to manipulate their victims. This can make you doubt the reality of your memory through constant lying and manipulation.

Gaslighting is especially effective when you become isolated in your relationship. When your world gets so small that it is just you and your partner, it becomes easier for them to control your reality with lies.

Jealousy and Possessiveness

Another sign of toxicity in a relationship is when a partner acts jealous constantly, questioning your fidelity. This is common among those who are cheating themselves.

This usually takes the form of controlling how you look, what you wear, and who you hang out with. Not wanting you to have friends of the opposite gender is another red flag.

Sometimes, partners will want to constantly go through all of your text messages and social media direct messages because they are constantly thinking you are cheating on them. These signs of jealousy should be examined and dealt with because they are not healthy to have in a relationship.

Mood Swings and Unpredictable Behavior

Another common psychological abuse tactic is constantly having mood swings and erratic behavior. It is not a healthy sign if you have to constantly walk around on eggshells to appease your partner.

It’s natural to have ups and downs; that’s life, but when a person is constantly flying off the handle at every little inconvenience, there is something severely wrong with the relationship.

This is especially true if the individual refuses to go see a mental health professional. Healthy relationships require stability, and having to constantly appease your partner is a sign of abuse.

Financially Abusive Relationships are Also Destructive

Controlling all the money and forcing you to depend on them is another tactic abusers may use to control you. Sometimes, this includes forcing you to quit a job or getting you fired so that you begin to depend on the abuser’s money to survive.

Financial abuse is, unfortunately, another common sign of toxic relationships.

Sexual Abuse is Another Form of Abuse

Sexual abuse takes many shapes and forms. Forcing sex with a partner is rape, and you should never feel it is required to have sex just because you are in a relationship with the person.

Ignoring boundaries and refusing to stop when you say no is another example of sexual abuse that qualifies as rape, as is guilting you into sex through coercion. If a partner is forcing you to either take birth control or get off birth control against your will, this also indicates an unhealthy pattern in the relationship.

Examples of Physical Abuse

Becoming physically violent is an escalating sign that it is beyond time to distance yourself from the relationship. Examples of physical abuse are slapping, hitting, choking, and pushing. If your relationship has gotten to the point of physical abuse, chances are that it will continue to get worse.

According to the National Institute of Health website, “The current statistics from the National Network to End Domestic Violence shows that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been the victim of domestic violence.”

There is also an 80% likelihood that a person who has become physically violent in a relationship will do it again. The common excuse given by abusers is that it was an accident or that it will never happen again. Unfortunately, this rarely seems to be the case.

Destroying Property is also Physical Abuse

Other common symptoms of physical abuse are when a person begins destroying property, such as punching walls or throwing dishes. Doing these things in an attempt to intimidate your partner is abusive, and often an indicator of more violence to come further in the relationship.

Holding You Down and Not Letting You Move Freely

Restraining you is also a form of physical abuse. This is a serious sign and should be considered when making decisions about whether or not to continue the relationship. Hindering your ability to leave is dangerous and can often lead to more serious situations of violence.

All of these examples of emotional and physical abuse should be examined carefully. If you are experiencing any of these things then it is time to reach out and get help.

The domestic abuse hotline is 800-799-7233

Having Healthy Relationships is Always a Possibility

Healthy relationships exist as well, and although they take work, they are attainable to anyone willing to compromise. Icarus Behavioral Health New Mexico has the tools and staff to teach you how to recognize a healthy relationship.

Setting Healthy Boundaries and Sticking to Them

Boundaries work in a relationship because they create an atmosphere of healthy communication. They help you feel validated and heard in a relationship. There are many benefits to setting and keeping healthy boundaries which are listed below.

Boundaries Promote Having Respect in a Relationship

Boundaries ensure that both people in the relationship recognize and honor each other’s personal space. Having respect gives you enough space to make your own decisions, which is a huge green flag for a partner.

Being able to feel your feelings and process them correctly can ensure a healthier relationship.

Boundaries Also Encourage Healthy Communication

When you set clear boundaries, it makes it easier to have healthy conversations. It allows both partners to express what they’re comfortable with and what they are not. Healthy communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Being able to convey your thoughts and emotions healthily makes for a much healthier relationship.

Boundaries Help Prevent Resentment

Without boundaries, one person may end up giving too much, which leads to exhaustion and resentment. Healthy limits ensure both partners contribute fairly. Being honest and conveying intentions can create a dialogue that prevents someone from getting angry in a relationship.

Build Emotional Safety with Boundaries

Knowing that your partner respects your boundaries is key to building trust. It helps create a relationship where both people feel safe being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a huge part of having a successful relationship. Vulnerability allows for an authentic connection, which can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Encourage Individual Progress

A healthy relationship allows both partners to maintain their own identities. Boundaries help prevent one partner from becoming too dependent on the other. Having friendships with people other than your partner is another important part of a healthy relationship.

Isolating yourself from the world is a surefire way to create unhealthy dependence in a relationship. Some relationships end because the partners develop a kind of us vs. the world mentality that is never healthy to have. This almost inevitably leads to problems, and the relationship ends.

Boundaries Prevent Toxic Relationships

Lack of boundaries can lead to manipulation and abuse. It is important to be steadfast in your boundaries and enforce them rigorously.

Relating clear boundaries and sticking to them is a great way to avoid some of the abusive situations listed above. Being able to clearly state your boundaries is only half the battle. The other half is being able to enforce them.

Learning About Boundaries and Building Healthy Relationships at Icarus New Mexico

The wonderful staff here at Icarus Behavioral Health New Mexico will be able to show you strategies to better interact with your partner. The key is being able to recognize unhealthy patterns and do something to change them. Our PTSD and trauma treatment programs give you and your partner the support you need to reconnect and heal.

If you are questioning whether you are in a healthy or abusive relationship, then give us a call today. The journey to a healthy, fulfilling relationship can start today.