How to Help a Loved One With an Eating Disorder

The Best Way to Offer Support to Someone Struggling With an Eating Disorder

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rates of all mental illnesses. Yes, all mental illnesses! This makes it crucial to talk about them openly. If you are wondering how to help a loved one with an eating disorder, know that you are not alone, and support is available.

When a loved one struggles with an eating disorder, it can be harsh on everyone involved. But with the proper support, recovery is possible. You play a big role in their journey as a family member or loved one. Accurate awareness of eating disorders can help you recognize early signs, symptoms, and risks, so that you can offer meaningful support.

Icarus Behavioral Health specializes in the safest eating disorder treatment throughout New Mexico. We offer evidence-based recovery programs that help your loved one overcome this disorder. Read on to find out how you can help your loved one while they receive eating disorder treatment at Icarus.

Signs of an Eating Disorder to Watch For

Eating disorders can be difficult to spot, especially without professional expertise. However, there are physical symptoms as well as social and emotional indicators that can help you identify symptoms of eating disorders early on. Here are some signs to watch for:

• Are they spending more time alone, which might make you worried about their well-being?
• Are they avoiding social gatherings that involve food due to body dissatisfaction?
• Do they like to keep their eating habits, exercise routines, and personal life private?
• Have you seen them eating comfortably lately?
• Have you spotted any signs of food restriction, excessive eating, or extreme dieting?
• Have you noticed a sudden shift in their mood, for example, anxiety, depression, or irritability?
• Have you noticed a lack of interest in the activities and hobbies they used to love?
• Do they overreact, become defensive, or avoid discussion when confronted about concerns regarding their body?
• Have they become obsessed with their body image or weight?
• Have you noticed signs of self-criticism or intense perfection?
• Do they struggle communicating their feelings?
• Do you feel your relationship with them has become more strained or difficult lately?
• Are they distancing themselves from friends, family or partner?

16 ways to help your loved one with an eating disorder

Eating disorders affect the whole family by causing emotional stress and disrupting daily routines. But there’s hope. Here are a few ways you can help someone you love with an eating disorder:

Be Patient

To help your loved one recover from an eating disorder, your entire family needs to change their perceptions and behaviors. Since it’s a mental illness, psychoeducation can offer the awareness you need to make these changes.

Seeking professional help, for example, family-focused therapy, can make this transition easier. You can also join caregiver eating disorder support groups to learn how to support your loved one best.

It’s Okay Not to Know

Understand that you’re only human and prone to making mistakes. It takes time to truly understand your loved one’s condition, especially if you’ve never been in this situation before. Not knowing all the answers doesn’t make you less of a father, mother, sibling, or partner.

The best way to help your loved one is to keep learning about their condition. Many individuals, groups, books, and other resources exist to help you gain a better understanding of eating disorders.

Get Them Help

As mentioned earlier, it’s important to accept your loved one with an eating disorder as they are. However, this doesn’t mean supporting them if they refuse professional help. Instead, you must firmly encourage them to seek rehabilitation treatment while being supportive and empathetic.

If your loved one is an adult, consider working with a mental health professional yourself to learn how to best support them until they’re ready for help. This approach also helps you prioritize your own well-being. You can set healthy boundaries to avoid enabling behaviors that might worsen their condition.

Don’t Discuss Food

Don’t get involved in discussions or arguments related to food or eating. Don’t share comments on the person’s weight or looks, even if you think they are helpful or complimentary. You would be likely wrong (at least early on).

Phrases like “looking healthy” may seem positive to you, but they can be triggering to someone with an ED. It can be upsetting for someone who struggles to feel comfortable with triggering weight gain.

Call your beloved’s healthcare professional if you’re concerned about issues like dehydration or weight loss. Request a session with your loved one and discuss your concerns there.

Recognize the Subtle Signs

Sometimes, people with eating disorders may take on a nurturing role early on to deny their own need for food. They might shop for food and cook for the family while ignoring their own need for kindness.

You should keep an eye out for similar behaviors to prevent your loved one from developing or worsening an eating disorder. If you notice these signs, be more proactive in showing them care.

Take care of yourself!

If you want to support your loved one with an eating disorder, you should create an environment where they are not constantly reminded of their illness. The best way is to add as much normalcy to your environment as possible. Actively take care of yourself while supporting your beloveds.

Don’t let the eating disorder consume your entire life. Don’t let this problem prevent you from having fun, living an everyday family life, or pursuing personal goals. It’s best for you and your loved one.

Do not become a martyr or let yourself or your family revolve around the eating disorder. Do not neglect fun, other family members, friends, or personal goals due to this problem.

Foster Independence

Let your loved one own their words and actions related to their eating disorder. This means not enabling or fixing their problems, but instead supporting them as they take responsibility for their recovery and focusing on their emotional health. By doing this, you help them take control of their recovery and develop healthier habits.

Show Love Physically and Verbally

They say that love is the highest frequency one can vibrate in. It certainly has the power to heal hurt. Therefore, recovery can come naturally to someone supported in a loving environment. A great way to support someone with an eating disorder is to encourage physical and verbal expressions of love.

Find ways to show affection to someone suffering from an eating disorder. Don’t bottle up feelings of anger, frustration, or powerlessness. Encourage all family members to be open about their feelings. This can bring them closer, despite differing perceptions and understandings of the situation.

Practice Good Sense

If you want to support a loved one with an eating disorder, you must take a look at your behaviors around dieting and exercise. If your focus on staying healthy is to lose weight or achieve thinness, you may trigger unhealthy behaviors in them. This will make it even harder for them to overcome their challenges. You can create a supportive environment by being mindful of your words and actions.

Praise Beyond Appearance

Someone suffering from an eating disorder is much more than their illness. They’re defined by their beliefs, goals, and dreams. A great way to help someone dealing with ED is to celebrate their small wins. You can do this by sharing what you appreciate about them.

Remind them of their accomplishments, no matter how small. Support them in developing a secure and unique sense of self, unaffected by changing fads and fashions.

Avoid Power Struggles

Power struggles only result in the eating disorder winning. Don’t compete for control over weight gain, binging, or purging. Simply call a ceasefire. The best way to approach this is to substitute your time with your loved one in shared activities. This will improve your relationship with them and allow you to relate to them in ways beyond food issues.

Do not try to manipulate.

Manipulation will only drive you apart from your loved ones. Therefore, you must stop trying to guilt-trip them, as this can trigger unhealthy behavior and potentially lead to relapse.

Avoid statements like “You’re ruining the family” or “Just give this up for me.” Don’t hold them responsible for your feelings. Understand that everyone is responsible for their happiness and shouldn’t place it on others.

Let your loved one know that they can count on you.

Assure your loved one that you’re always there if they need someone to lean on for emotional support. You can also seek help to learn how to develop intimacy with someone suffering from ED.

We tend to repeat patterns in our relationships that we learned from our childhood. These patterns can affect how we interact with a loved one with an eating disorder. Sometimes, we might unknowingly create similar dynamics that aren’t helpful, even if we want to support them.

Do not ask, “Are you better?”

Never ask questions like “Are you doing better?” to someone with an eating disorder. This might sound like you’re pressuring them to hurry and get well so that everyone else can feel better. An eating disorder is a sign of an underlying concern.

The best way to judge their progress is to observe if they’re more aware of their feelings or thinking and behaving more rationally, and if they’re less critical of themselves.

Understand Their Struggle

Your loved one with an eating disorder might be hesitant to give up their disordered eating habits because these habits feel safe and secure to them. These habits serve as a way to cope with emotions or stress, and most people find it challenging to let go of them. It will take time for them to develop new, healthier ways of coping that they can trust.

Find Comprehensive ED Treatment for Your Loved One at Icarus

If you want to help a loved one with an eating disorder, listen and just be there for them. Accept them for who they are and let them know you believe they can overcome this challenge.

Share your understanding that developing a healthy relationship with food can be difficult, but they deserve it. But of course, when necessary, intervene with medical help. Encourage them to prioritize early detection and treatment as they are dealing with the deadliest of all disorders.

At Icarus Behavioral Health, you don’t merely treat symptoms. Our experts focus on restoring the client’s complete health. We know you want the best for your loved one with an eating disorder. We want that too. So if you spot any of the ED signs in them, book an appointment today.