Can A Marriage Survive Drug Addiction?

Looking at Substance Abuse And Its Effects on Love and Marriage

The question we are looking at on this page is a serious one: Can a marriage survive drug addiction?

The answer is yes, though it is a heavy topic to be sure, and one that needs to be explored more carefully. Understanding the impact of addiction on marriage can help you better navigate the recovery process and hopefully come out on the other side with a life that looks exactly how you’ve imagined.

Entering recovery is the first step in attempting to save a marriage that has been harmed by drug addiction. For that, you need to work with the right partner, and Icarus Recovery Center in New Mexico is an excellent option to consider.

As a JCAHO-accredited facility, Icarus Recovery has the experience, training, and tools needed to help you (or your loved one) confront drug or alcohol addiction successfully. Keep reading to learn more about marriages and substance use disorders, and get helpful insights to support your relationship now.

How Does Addiction Impact a Marriage?

Drug addiction does not exist in isolation. Instead, it impacts everyone around the addict, including family members and friends. Of course, a spouse is at the top of the list of those who are affected, so there is no doubt that a drug addiction is going to have a profound effect on a marriage.

In some cases, the spouses of someone with an addiction will describe it as if they are “living with a stranger”. The illicit drug use has changed the person they love into someone they don’t even recognize.

It’s likely that the addicted partner will develop new and unusual habits, some of which we will discuss below. The drinking or drug use can effectively replace affection, and sometimes domestic violence issues will stem from the addiction, as well.

How Can You Recognize Signs of Addiction in a Spouse?

Substance use disorder can develop slowly and quietly. It might start as a way to “take the edge off”, or just to relax, before things start to spiral out of control. Before anyone realizes how bad it has gotten, serious problems will have developed and addressing addiction will already be challenging.

If you suspect that you may have an addicted spouse, the signs listed below could point to something being wrong.

Frequent Mood Swings

The withdrawal symptoms that are associated with drug addiction can lead to dramatic mood swings from one day to the next, or even one moment to the next.

The non addicted spouse may not understand why their partner is going from high to low and back again so quickly, when really it is the drugs that are to blame.

It’s important to understand that your spouse doesn’t need to be trying to quit drugs to experience withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms can come on quickly, even just hours after the last use. This is part of what makes drug problems so serious. For many who suffer from drug abuse addiction, the only thing they can think about is where to get the next high.

Withdrawal from Family Activities

If your spouse is addicted to drugs, they may stop wanting to be involved in family activities and other things that they would have engaged in otherwise. This is another common warning sign that something is wrong.

Often, this withdrawal is related to shame, as they may not want others to see them in their current condition. As the non addicted partner, you may become frustrated by this development and feel like it is another piece of your relationship that is falling apart.

Financial Strain or Irregularities

Drugs are expensive. This is a part of the story that is often overlooked, but it’s very important. As the vicious cycle of drug use accelerates, more and more money will be spent in pursuit of getting high.

In many cases, the money that is spent on drugs or alcohol will be hidden in some way. This can also place significant stress on the relationship and have negative consequences that reach far beyond the actual dollar amounts involved.

Declining Physical or Mental Health

One of the most direct signs that your partner is battling drug addiction is the decline in their physical health. The specific symptoms that are experienced will vary based on the type or quantity of drugs used, but no drug habit leads to improved health over time. Drugs are not healthy coping mechanisms, after all.

Whether it’s abusing illegal or prescription drugs, a concerned spouse should pay attention to the physical health of their partner. Along those same lines, declining mental health is just as concerning.

A substance use problem will chip away at both physical and mental well-being, so all signs of a loved one getting worse should be noted and explored.

Can Love Survive Addiction?

Love is a powerful thing. Unfortunately, so too is addiction. Having the support of a spouse while going through addiction can make a huge difference, but everything has limits. If that spouse is pushed too far and is asked to do too much in support of the person battling the addiction, even the most intimate relationships can be broken apart.

There is good news to share here, however. Many marriages have managed to survive addiction and carry on to enter the recovery phase. This is not a hopeless situation.

As the recovery journey begins and then progresses, the emotional support in the relationship can start to flow both ways, rather than only toward the person battling addiction. Seeking professional help on this matter as soon as possible is a key step, so that’s what we’ll discuss in the next section.

What is the Role of Treatment in Saving a Marriage from Addiction?

Treatment centers have been saving lives for years. That’s what facilities like Icarus Recovery Center in New Mexico do best. We help people who are often at the lowest point in their lives find a safe space to understand their addiction and begin to fight back against it.

Marital problems can also be solved through seeking treatment. Rebuilding trust that has been lost, and solving marital problems, is something that happens one day at a time through recovery. Working with a treatment professional, or a whole team of professionals, can highlight a path forward where it didn’t look like one existed previously.

Treatment can address addiction, and marriage problems, in many different ways. Here are some of the tactics used at Icarus Recovery Center in New Mexico to make significant progress.

Individual Counseling

Individual counseling sessions are typically at the heart of what starts to break down an addiction and create a brighter future. The core element of these therapy sessions is to help you or your spouse understand the personal roots of the addiction battle.

Everyone has their own reasons for becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol, so working with a therapist directly is the best way to uncover the cause and then seek a lasting solution.

Group Support

Many individuals and couples are surprised by how effective group therapy sessions can be in the recovery process. During group therapy, you are able to connect with other people who are walking a similar path.

You can draw strength and inspiration from these others, and they can do the same from you. It’s a powerful cycle and may become one of the most important parts of not only getting into recovery, but staying there for a lifetime.

Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and secular options like SMART Recovery can play crucial roles in supporting the person struggling with substances, and options like A-Anon and others can help support the partner who is setting up boundaries and learning how to support their loved one’s sobriety.

Couples Therapy

In cases of addiction that have negatively impacted a marriage, couples therapy is also going to play an important role. There have likely been communication breakdowns between the two members of the relationship, and emotional harm has been done. These aren’t the kinds of problems that are solved instantly, but each session with a qualified therapist will be a meaningful step in the right direction.

Relapse Prevention Planning

Getting clean is one thing. Staying that way for good is a completely different story. In the case of a couple, both partners need to understand how triggers can be handled without slipping back into old habits.

Even something as simple as a familiar place or a stressful event can lead to a relapse, which is why it is critical to plan for these things so they don’t undo all of the hard work that has been done to leave addiction behind.

Setting Boundaries and Building Trust

Without a doubt, rebuilding trust is going to be one of the most important, and hardest, parts of this process for a couple dealing with addiction.

There has surely been trust lost through the months or years of addiction, and the non-addicted partner is going to have a difficult time returning to the level of trust they once had in their spouse.

Part of this journey is drawing a firm line between supporting and enabling behavior, and resources from SAMHSA can help (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).

It’s great for one spouse to support the other. In fact, that type of support is almost certainly necessary.

How Can You Avoid Enabling a Spouse With Addiction?

But enabling, where a spouse protects the addicted partner from consequences and ignores signs of relapse, is harmful rather than helpful.

But the primary burden in terms of regaining trust has to fall on the person battling the addiction. If that has been you, it’s necessary for you to show a renewed sense of reliability and dependability over time.

It happens one day at a time, by consistently doing what you said you were going to do, and showing up openly and honestly. It won’t be easy, but time can heal and restore the strength of a marriage.

The Power of Forgiveness When Overcoming Addiction in a Marriage

There is also an important role for forgiveness to play in this journey. For the other spouse who has been watching their partner suffer with addiction, that doesn’t mean forgetting what has happened, or pretending it never happened at all. It means accepting what has occurred in the past, forgiving your partner for the pain that it has caused, and moving forward together.

Therapists will often remind couples that forgiveness needs to be seen as a process rather than a single moment. It’s not going to be the case that you just wake up one day and all is forgiven. Rather, it can take months or years to get to a more peaceful place where more focus is on the future than the past.

During these difficult times, it can help to understand that many couples actually come out of this experience even closer and more connected than ever. They have faced a difficult thing, worked through it together, and survived to tell the story. That can be the case for you and your partner, as well.

Put Your Marriage Back Together With Support from Icarus

It’s never easy to admit that substance abuse treatment is necessary in your life. But you can get over that hurdle today. Right now, in fact.

Pick up the phone and confidentially call Icarus Recovery Center in New Mexico to learn about our treatment options and discuss your needs, so that your marriage can not only survive intact, but thrive in sobriety!